College Football Picks…I’m Ron Burgundy?

A friend of mine is putting his college football picks up on and, out of sheer adversarial glee, I’ve decided to do likewise.  I’ve won an office pool or two in my day so these picks, unlike his, will actually be based on good judgment and a steel trap of a mind. 

I did steal his font for this post so I will honor him by re-posting his picks as a point of future comparison.  Here is a link to his picks…

 Cal +5.5 over Oregon.  (Disagree)  Coolest play all year was from QB Dennis Dixon over Michigan, a fake Statue-of-Liberty QB keeper.

Oklahoma -22 over Colorado. (Agree).   OU has the most schloastically retarded student body in all of the USA, however, none of the guys coaching the football team attended OU so they are safe.

Florida (-18) over Auburn. (Agree) Can’t argue with this one.  Auburn is, year in year out, the most overrated program in the SEC.  The coach, Tess of the D’Urbervilles, continues to try and pretend they are in the cream of SEC society (just like Tess), however, no one will ever buy it and you can recruit or marry yourself to any recruit you want, Auburn will always be a commoner amongst the elite.

 Michigan (-17) over Northwestern.  (Agree).  Whenever a line looks wrong, worry.  Northwestern just lost to St. Patrick of Kilarney rugby team 63-28 and Michigan just beat a pretty good Penn State team so your initial thought is -17?  Too low?  Don’t second-guess, it is too low.  Take Michigan.

 Now for my picks.

 USF (+7 1/2) over West Virginia.  I could bore you with stats about this or that, unfortunately I don’t know any so I go with my gut and one of the unbreakable tenets of sports betting.   Ranked home underdogs are like Maria Sharapova’s ass…high and tight.  (no correlation).  In other words, take it if you can.  USF is motivated and when you are talking about 18 and 19 year old players and athletic parity, take the motivated kids.

 Rutgers (-19) over Maryland.  Rutgers has scored over 30pts 6 straight games and Ray Rice is the next Emmitt Smith.  Coming off a bye week, Rutgers figured out that without is 100grams of bacon fat each day, Ralph Friedgen’s brain will morph into Bob Davie and Maryland will only run plays that produce negative yards.  Go with Rutgers and the tofu.

 Purdue (-22) over Notre Dame.  Sorry, but Notre Dame is piss poor and to quote my colleague, they are very very very very bad.  I’m not sure why everyone hasn’t already figured this one out but I’ll repeat it.  It’s Bill Belichek. Not Romeo Crennel.  Not Tom Brady.  Not Robert Kraft.  And certainly Not Charlie Weis.  He makes Mack Brown look crafty.  ND will replace him by next year.

 Last one…NFL. 

 Arizona (+5.5) over Pittsburgh.  Tell you why.  Arizona has been in all three games this year even though they are 1-2.  Whisenhunt and Grimm were both up for the Pittsburgh job and, more importantly, Leinart is now on the bench proving once and for all that he was a product of the USC talent, not the other way around.


3 Responses to “College Football Picks…I’m Ron Burgundy?”

  1. Game On « Kermit The Blog Says:

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  2. I’ll Try. I Promise. « Kermit The Blog Says:

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