Who’s more pompous, Curt Schilling or Billy Packer?

In the world of sports, I dare ask: Who’s more pompous, Curt Schilling or Billy Packer?  My answer is…Pat Summitt.  Here’s why.  Never in any major collegiate or pro sport (stretching the definition) in the past 50 years has there been a coach more completely dominant than Pat Summitt.  She owns women’s college basketball.  I would take her to coach my kid’s T-Ball team or coach USC’s football team.  She motivates, she recruits 5-star kids even when her bench is full of older 5-star kids, she outcoaches on the court, she gets straight girls to play with lesbos, she wins.  7 national titles in 20 years.  14 Final Fours in 20 years.  That is ridiculous.  In fact, I defy you to legitimately argue that she couldn’t win a national title within 5 years at any SEC football school.  She’s the best coach ever (no, Roy, you can’t throw Anson Dorrance or some swimming coach back at me.  I said major sport.  Even though women’s basketball looks a lot like high school varsity basketball).

Know what else?  She’s arrogant, bitchy, pompous, and as conceited as they come.  I’d rather spend 20 minutes debating union politics or bracketology with Billy Packer or Curt Schilling.

Onto the picks.  As expected, with sniper-like precision, I fired a 3-1 record last week using the Costanza method so I will once again proceed that way.

Oklahoma State (+3) over Texas.  Texas has won 9 straight and owns OSU, their over/under medicated coach (your call), and usually wins in comeback fashion.  This means take Texas, right?  I would normally.  OSU has a big offense and in the last 3 games have held opponents 14 pts per game.

Michigan (-4 1/2) over Michigan State.  Without their stars at full power, you would think Michigan would be toast on the road against a bitter rival in a game that makes MSU bowl eligible.  Not so fast, mon amie.  MSU lost to Iowa last week 34-27.  Iowa.  The same Iowa team that has a whopping 20 players on the DL and actually lost to Iowa State this year.

Navy (+3) over Notre Dame.  Honestly, I can’t Costanza this pick.  I watched Navy play earlier this year and they can score on anyone, especially a Catholic high school team practicing in a large stadium that bans Jews from attending.  Since my wife won’t ever be able to attend a game at ND, we are happy and content to watch Navy crucify ND like Pontius Pilate.

LSU (-7) over Alabama.  Normally, when I’m on the fence about a game and can’t decide, I take the underdog.  Why?  Because if I can’t figure out which team is better then I at least want some points to cushion the outcome.  Clearly, this is not the case here.  LSU is miles farther along than Alabama and John Wilkes Booth once played QB at an Alabama high school, thus completing the serial killer trilogy.

Here’s are Roy’s losers in waiting:

Washington (-2.5) over Stanford (disagree).  Washington gave up 48 points to Arizona last week.  Eeeek.  Anyone Notre Dame alum or fan should look at that next time they regret letting Tyrone Willingham-Tebow go.  Stanford, still researching a way to incorporate GMAT and MCAT scores into the BCS, will cover.

Illinois (-16) over Minnesota (agree).  Minnesota is so bad that the coaches son, Nolan Brewster, a star senior safety in Colorado, is actually committing to another college.  However, UM has produced both Laurence Maroney and Marion Barber in the last three years so the program can be rebuilt.  It just won’t happen today.

Arizona (+3.5) over UCLA (agree).  Same exact logic as Roy, better chicks.  These chicks must enroll sight unseen, though, as Tucson is actually referred to, by name, in the 3rd circle of hell from Dante’s Inferno.  

Georgia (-16.5) over Troy (Disagree).  Georgia rarely blows anyone out and, like Roy, I smell letdown.  What is a Tebow?  We should call everything related to UF ever in Tebow-vernacular as they guy could really use some good press.  Urban Meyer-Tebow is still fuming about last week, as a perpetually undercoached GU team whooped him.  Georgia is talented but young.  Troy is Greek.

As always, keep your Tebow down and your eyes on the ball.

Tags: billy packer, curt schilling