Larry Williams says, “Bam!”

First and foremost, I’m the first to admit how underwhelmed I am by my own performance last week.  A moribund 2-2 record certainly merits rattan recliner #6 at the El Cortez sports lounge in Las Vegas, however, it won’t get me far in my pocketbook.  Disappointment pervades as I search frantically for an explanation for Purdue’s mysterious 2nd half collapse and Rutgers pre-’06, Rutgersesque collapse against Maryland.  I will trudge on, desperately hoping to channel Jimmy the Greek or Zorba the Greek or anybody last named ending in “…dakos.”  First, my colleague at Kermit The Blog (http://kermittheblog.wordpress.com/2007/10/04/under-promise-over-deliver/) has made his picks and I’ll let you read his and then I’ll respond.

Kansas State -3 over Kansas.  (Agree).  I was at the Texas-KSU game and we were decidedly outcoached, outplayed, outcheerleaded, outwhiteguyed, outblackguyed, outschemed, outmanuevered, outwitted (not hard) and utterly outasskicked.  KSU is the real deal except for their fans, who despite a valiant effort by their team, still have to drive their purple El Caminos back to Kansas.Alabama (-11) over Houston.  (Disagree).  Houston is better than most and they beat a pretty good East Carolina team coached by Skip Holtz, a decidedly better coach than his father, Lou “let me get the shit out of mouth first” Holtz.  Alabama is the product of one quality win over Auburn albeit with some questionable calls and Major Applewhite is slowly learning that any quarterback addressed by three names probably had serial killers for parents.

Oklahoma (-10.5) over Texas.  (Agree)  My alma mater is experiencing what football experts, in parlance, technically call, “a shitty team.”  Bad, if any, coaching.  Poor, if any, play calling.  Notre Dame-like tackling by the defense.  And, worst of all, a coach that thinks it is no big deal.  As Inigo Montoya would say, “humiliations galore.”

Oklahoma State (+6.5) over Texas A&M.  Who’s the bigger goat right now, Gundy or Franchione?  I’d go with Gundy because OSU just had T. Boone Pickens donate $71 Billion dollars to OSU just for their athletics.  Why?  You could donate $71 Billion to Hakeem Olajuwon’s village in Nigeria and get a better football team plus feed the starving poor, if that were as important as say, I don’t know, having a run defense?  Still, A&M has quit on Franchione and his deer-in-the-headlights look is waaay too reminiscient of the BTK killer. 

My picks, which I really like this week.

Kentucky (+4) over South Carolina.  I know LSU is next weekend but the good thing about UK is they are still playing week to week.  Rich Brooks (who I would love at Texas) is adept at game planning and his enthusiasm is palpable.  Steve Spurrier, who I want to come to one of my staff meetings just so he can throw a clipboard on the ground, is making a mistake switching QB’s mid-season.  A field goal game either way.

Cincinnati (+3) over Rutgers.  Best team in the southern half of Ohio, including the Bengals.  4-0ATS this year.  Rutgers is beginning to emulate Trilby to Greg Schiano’s Svengali, hypnotized into a star and then suddenly awakened to realize, oh wait, we’re Rutgers.    All Du Maurier fans, you’re welcome.

Florida (+8) over LSU.  Two words for you.  Urban Meyer never loses two in a row.  I don’t care if Tim Tebow or Tim Robbins is your QB, Urban Meyer will win.  Candlesticks always make a nice gift.  Truer words have never been spoken.